That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Randomize
