i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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