Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
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She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
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I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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