We won't sleep together?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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