Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize