I'm gonna have a badass scar
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
