I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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