I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize