she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
