In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
