Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
