those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
My vagina just clenched in fear
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
