Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
