remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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