I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
