haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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