I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
