I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
