I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
