i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
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Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
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Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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