Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize