make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
