I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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