cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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