i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
