Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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