i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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