I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
