You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
