My cat gives me a boner
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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