Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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