paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
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i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
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i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
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