I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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