No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Is it penis luge time yet?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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