Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
