You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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