And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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