i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I believe in your delicious
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
