And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
