id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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