Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
third nipple confirmed
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
