Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Are we still banned from the library?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
