It's a beautiful day for a hangover
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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