So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
