need another drink. this is the easiest way
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
