I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
