ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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