Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
