You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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