only if we run a train.
done.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
