I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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