Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
