if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Your dad touched me again.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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