Betty ford says i'm here all night
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
