I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
