So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Drake has all the answers
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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