I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
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