But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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