Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
