idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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