Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
