I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
