she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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