Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
