I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
this is an emotional support booty call
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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