i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
