I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
