In the future we'll all be gay
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
