You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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