1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
