he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
