I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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